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    一個怪人的故事

    發布于:2019-01-21 20:36  ┊ 閱讀  ┊  人參與  ┊ 文 / 蔣明亮

      我很早就想寫他,希望用一種悲憫的筆調去描述他。可生活在他周圍的人都不喜歡他,都說他是一個‘怪人’。他生性孤僻、行為怪誕。人們看他恍如看一個剛從古森林里過渡來的野人,不免心中發怵。如果誰招惹他或者想沾他的便宜,他會立刻毛發倒豎,狠狠地對付你;即使你沾別人的便宜或者欺負別人那也不行,他會毫不猶豫的拔刀相助。

      可是,我如果不去寫他,胸中似乎總有一塊石頭壓抑著,猶如地下封存已久的火山暗流涌動,隨時都可能噴薄而出。

      我認識他的時候是八年前的一個春天。那一年,我被老板派往西南崗磚瓦廠做生產廠長。那是一個很大的國營磚瓦廠,盤踞在一千多畝的黃土高坡上。坡下是一個很大的水庫,整日里波光麟麟。廠里的工人有四百多口。我到任沒有幾天,就有一個拖水坯的小伙子和那個怪人打架,我狠狠而且公平合理的批評了那個小伙子。這時,我才仔細地注意起這個怪人來:他赤著腳光著上身,經太陽一曬,身上隱隱泛著古銅色的光,頭發披肩而有點蓬亂,嘴稍有點偏歪,布滿塵埃的臉上有一雙細長的眼睛總是瞇著。偶爾看你,眸子閃亮而充滿智慧。

      于是,我開始想了解他、并且想征服他,為了工作、也為了好奇。

      聽說他特喜歡音樂,吹笛子是他的強項。一個清晨,天空下起了雨。春天的雨特別的細,薄如絹紗、輕似夢幻,隨著風一抹一抹地漂浮著,迷迷濛濛。在水庫的大堤上,他臨水而立,捧著笛子,靜靜地宛若維也納街頭的一尊雕像。笛聲悠揚而婉轉、雜亂而有序。我仿佛看到寂靜的春山中,無數的鳥兒在啁啁而歌;仿佛還能聽到春山深處傳來隱隱的松濤聲和泉水擊石的聲音。我拿起一塊雨布,輕輕地走過去披在他的身上,并且發自內心的贊嘆:多好的一曲《空山鳥語》呀!他停住吹奏,兩眼注視著水面,似乎是自言自語地說:“可惜這動人的鳥聲全被雨聲壓抑了!”

      又一個大休的日子,我提著一瓶酒和一斤醬肉找到了他的住處。那是立在磚廠一角孤零零的一間小屋。推開門,屋內雜亂無章。地上有些是當凳子用的土磚坯以及臉盆碗筷等。他卷縮在床上睡著了,猶如上海街頭的一名“阿癟”。唯有一點顯出雅氣的倒是床上散發著不少的書和墻上掛著的一面小圓鏡。我不禁納悶,一個都不知道修邊幅的人還掛鏡子做什么呢?

      就在這布滿塵埃的小屋里,我們以地當餐桌,以土坯當凳子,對面而坐、邊吃邊談---沒有架子,彼此平等;沒有隔閡,相互溝通。他向我講述了關于他的故事——

      他本有一個非常幸福的家,上有父母,下有一個弟弟和妹妹。父親在鄉郵政所工作。也不知什么原因,父母經常吵架。久而久之,他的家越來越變得冷清,沒有了平日里的歡聲笑語。父親上班也不經常回來,偶爾回來一次也只帶點好玩的或好吃的給他以及弟弟妹妹。

      忽然有一天,他的母親和村上的一個男人私奔了,永遠的離開了這個家。那年他才十四歲呀!為了照顧他們兄妹三人,父親辭去了工作。父親突然間變得非常消沉,經常抽煙喝酒,喝醉了就摔盆子摔碗,摔累了就摟著驚魄未定的孩子們嗚嗚的哭。他的生活和讀書都受到了影響。鄰居們都用異樣的眼光看著他,他感到無以名狀的痛苦。

      后來他的父親染上了賭博,常常夜不歸宿。有一次深夜,天空雷聲轟轟、大雨滂沱,一道道閃電像一條條偌大的練蛇伸出利爪撕開窗戶竄進屋來。被驚醒的兄妹三人拼命的呼喊爸爸,哭成一團。然而,他的爸爸在外賭錢仍然沒有回來,他們的哭喊聲也被這無情的雨水淹沒了。

      不久,他輟學了,失去了他的小書包,失去了他的小伙伴,失去了屬于他的童年的歡樂……

      他滿臉是淚,我們此時再也品不出那酒的甘醇,只覺得非常的苦、非常的辣。他繼續講述著他的故事——

      那時,他除了下地干活,還經常帶著妹妹和弟弟挖野菜以及拾柴禾以填補家用。他羨慕那些擁有母親的小伙伴、羨慕那些擁有歡聲笑語的家庭。

      他說:有一次,他帶著弟弟和妹妹在崗坡上拾柴禾。夏天如孩兒臉說變就變,回來的路上下起了瓢潑大雨。他看到有一個年輕的母親撐著一把傘,身后背著小孩,在那高高低低的崗坡上艱難的走著。他羨慕極了,不由自主地拽著弟弟、妹妹跟著那位母親朝家的相反方向走去。就這樣在雨里癡癡地跟著走。結果,雷雨過后,他和弟弟妹妹大病了一場。

      漸漸地他感覺自己變了,他徹心徹骨地恨自己的母親甚至討厭天下所有的女人。他變得孤僻不合群。他不喜歡別人同情他,不喜歡別人說他可憐,不喜歡別人用異樣的眼光窺視他。

      他漸漸地長大了,他要掙錢養活自己和弟妹。他先后進過窯廠,修過鐵路,干過泥瓦匠。什么苦都吃過,什么樣的罪都受過,就是不愿向人低頭。因而,在工作中處處碰壁。

      后來,他終于掙了一些錢為弟弟蓋起了房子。妹妹眼看著哥哥已經老大不小了,便想替哥哥換親(這在當時農村窮人家認為是最好不過的事了),然而他卻把這個機會讓給了弟弟。

      弟弟結了婚,妹妹也出嫁了,都有了歸宿。他的心本也該找到一份安靜。誰知,他的弟弟和弟媳婦擔心他日后要回房子便處處找借口排擠他,終于把他攆出了家門……

      談到酷愛音樂,他說,他希望用音樂來排遣自己心中的孤獨和寂寞。他指著墻上那面鏡子告訴我:他學笛子,因為沒有專人指導,竟把嘴吹歪了。為了把口型改過來,他堅持每天對著鏡子一遍一遍地練。即使上班的鈴聲響了,管理人員也甭想打攪他。否則,他準跟你急甚至和你大動干戈。他說,他還曾經在縣組織的樂器演奏比賽中得過獎、拍了照片呢!

      提起這件事,他興奮得滿臉緋紅,再加上酒精的刺激,兩眼放射出幸福的光彩來。

      其實,他很渴望別人能夠理解他、喜歡他;他希望用音樂去打動別人,可他周圍的那些打工仔除了打牌就是賭錢或者看黃片,瘋狂時下流地你呼我叫,誰也不會去理睬他的音樂。于是他漸漸變得更加孤獨。他常常站在荒野中吹,他想吹給風聽、吹給天上的流云聽、吹給水中的魚兒聽-----當他驀然回首看到水中他那孑然相吊的身影時,無限的惆悵又禁不住襲上心頭。

      …………

      這就是關于他的故事。后來,我為了幫助他,經常利用職務之便叫他到管理人員開的小食堂里吃一些剩菜(這對他是最好的待遇了,別的職工是沒有這個機會的),并經常請他在擴音器里為職工吹奏幾曲,意在拉近他和其他職工之間的距離。

      然而,我一個人的力量畢竟是有限的,其他管理人員對我的這種做法都不予支持。終于有一天,他離開磚瓦廠走了。再后來,聽說他到上海給一家私人樂隊做吹鼓手。再后來的后來,不再聽到有關他的消息了!也不知道他現在日子過的怎么樣,前面的天是陽光明媚、風和日麗呢還是陰風怒號、秋雨瀟瀟?

      就在前不久的一天,聽熟悉他的一個朋友說,他現在已經瘋了,時常一個人瘋瘋癲癲地走在路上,還是那身古銅色、還是那細長的眼睛,只是眼睛里不再有智慧的神采。手里也不再有笛子。他可能完全的絕望了,不再指望用音樂來呼喚世間人性的回歸......

      在我寫完這篇小文的時候,我的筆尖始終是凝重的。我常常痛苦地閉上眼睛,腦海里便閃現出一幅畫面來:灰蒙蒙的天空布滿塵埃。四周是無邊的沙漠,沒有一絲綠色。他披頭散發搖搖晃晃地在沙漠里走著,身后留下斑斑腳印和血跡,他的身影在沙漠里漸行漸遠直到消失......

      

    責任編輯:胡俊月 作者文集 作者聲明
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