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    尋夢淺水灣

    發布于:2019-04-01 20:14  ┊ 閱讀  ┊  人參與  ┊ 文 / 吊腳樓

      因為蕭紅,我一直忘不掉香港的淺水灣。

      十多年前的深秋,讀完《呼蘭河傳》后,假道香港去德國的貝爾公司公干。那時,很想去一趟淺水灣,無奈行色匆匆,與淺水灣擦肩而過,我自是覺得萬般的遺憾。最近七年,連年去香港,也不曾去過淺水灣。不是不想去,只是覺得時過境遷,人文景觀的過度開發,人文不敵商業的窘境,早已讓許多名人故居失去了本來應該有的文化底色。我魂牽夢縈的淺水灣還是蕭紅的淺水灣嗎?蕭紅的墳冢早已經遷移到廣州,早先,蕭紅的一半骨灰被端木蕻良掩埋在圣士提反女校,聽說也早已不知所蹤,瑪麗醫院作為蕭紅生命最后的驛站一定還在,但它能留下蕭紅的才情和生命的氣息嗎?

      我猶豫著,但執念猶在。淺水灣這個風情的處所,畢竟在兵荒馬亂之際,成就了蕭紅的《呼蘭河傳》、《馬伯樂》、《小城三月》等不朽的著作,也接納了一個終身飄零的靈魂。作為蕭紅的膜拜者,我不能不來。

      2018年的最后一天,我來了。天公還算憐惜我的膜拜,雖是陰天,風,也有些寒意,但陽光時而會鬼鬼祟祟地從云叢的縫隙中懶洋洋地爬出來,為我的尋訪添了些許的亮色。到達淺水灣時,正是中午時分,陽光開始飽和起來,溫暖著淺水灣的碧水、藍天、金沙、細浪,但它們并沒給我帶來視覺上的沖擊。我不是觀光的旅人,不會孤立地觀賞它的一景一物,我是一個尋夢者,這里的一山一石都有我的情感寄托,我希望淺水灣的山水能還原蕭紅的孤寂、奔襲、落寞和掙扎。我問一個上了年紀的景區工作人員,這里還有蕭紅墓地的遺址嗎?他竟然一無所知。他不僅不知道蕭紅墓地的遺址,他連蕭紅也不知道。這也難怪,長時期以來,蕭紅是界外于中國現代文學史的,文學的階級分析法則,從來不認可她的悲天憫人,所以,她的名字似乎從來沒有走進端莊的學術場域。她不單是被邊緣化,被故意忽略,被刻意遺忘,即便提起,她也是以“一個女人與四個男人”的不堪身份沉浮在世人的口沫中——這是蕭紅無法逃避的接受背景。

      我只好替蕭紅自嘲——天才,從不在乎庸常之輩是否知曉,被埋沒的精神氣質總有一天會義薄云天。

      鬼使神差,當我拾級而上,無意間竟然發現自己正行走在一條被稱之為“文學小徑”的路上。這條“文學小徑”橫臥在一個叫“南方文學區”的區域內。小徑寬不過兩米,長幾十米,水磨石鋪地,直溜溜的,全然沒有文學的風致。小徑旁有三把為紀念張愛玲三次赴港經歷的藝術造型長椅,三把長椅旁邊分別置有張愛玲的照片、張愛玲作品雕塑和她的皮箱、外套。沿小徑而上,是一棟西式風格的淺水灣茶樓,白墻、木頂,木格子窗欞。景點說明書說,這里是《傾城之戀》中范柳原和白流蘇定情的地方。正是因有這風花雪月的浪漫,這茶樓得以保存下來。

      淺水灣沒有怠慢張愛玲,這里留有她足夠的遺痕,鮮花、蔓草似乎都有她的冷艷和綺麗。但今天的淺水灣虧欠了蕭紅。“走了六小時寂寞的長途,到你頭邊放一束紅山茶,我等著,長夜漫漫,你卻臥聽著海濤的閑話。”(戴望舒《蕭紅墓畔口占》)當初,雨巷詩人走了六小時寂寞長途,畢竟看到了亂草叢中的一堆黃土,她的靈魂還能聞到那束紅山茶的清香,即使她睡了,她的腳趾還能觸摸到淺水灣的沙粒,她無需翻身,就能臥聽海濤絮絮叨叨的閑話。而今天,我等遲到的憑吊人能見到什么呢?蕭紅在淺水灣的憂憤、凄婉、傷感,都成了故紙堆里一排排僵死的鉛字。但淺水灣在,還是月牙形,依舊水天一色,海水還是如張愛玲說的一樣,寂寞地藍著,慵懶地蕩漾著,而淺水灣的沙灘上,蕭紅的足跡卻越來越淺、越來越模糊......也許,下一撥海浪就會抹平所有的遺跡。

      時隔半個世紀后,張愛玲的文學火把又燃燒在華語世界里,文青或者非文青,說起她的白流蘇都是眉飛色舞,甚至能繪聲繪色地復原她從上海潮濕的古宅走向香港街頭的步態。張愛玲曾經說,出名要趁早。張愛玲的早集趕得恰如其時,晚集也是風風火火。與她齊名而出的蕭紅卻沒有她的幸運,一個在魯迅眼里是“最有前途的作家”,而且深得魯迅風骨的才女,居然長時期寂寂無名,直到她死后的70多年后,才憑借一部《黃金時代》的電影,為普羅大眾所熟知。

      熟知!公眾熟知了蕭紅嗎?未必。在去香港的路上,我說淺水灣、說蕭紅。有人說,不就是那個兩次懷著前夫的骨血改嫁的女人么?我不再言語,大眾話語里的蕭紅,還是一個不守婦道的符號。中國的道德語境就是這般詭異,一個守寡的女人,可以用一生的落寞換得一尊牌坊而光耀宗祠,而一個追求愛情、只是渴望過安穩日子而終無所得的女人,最后卻落得個始亂終棄的罵名。

      我想對蕭紅說,人事難料,記不得你的,你是“文學洛神”也是枉然,不管你用怎樣的身段活在這個世界上,你就是淺水灣遠處的那只臨風而飛的海鷗,飛過、唱過、哭過,抑或也笑過,但都是一過了之;記得你的,淺水灣于他,是忘不了,來不得。你本就是不為功名生、不為利祿死的女人,自然不會介懷世俗里的飛流長短。

      蕭紅的人生注定是苦難的、寂寞的、蒼涼的。作為現代文學史上不可多得的女作家,她獨特的生命體驗和情感指認,讓后來者扼腕嘆息的同時,也生發出一種悲涼至極的無可奈何。作為一個女人,經歷了三段感情的蕭紅,最終還是絕望而孤獨地死去;作為一個作家,她的作品長期被埋沒、湮滅,甚至遭到惡意利用、曲解、貶損、否定,或者,竟無視其存在。一個追求自由和愛情的女人,死在她所追求的路上,她一生所承受的不幸、屈辱和痛苦,至少有一半來自她的“愛人”......淺水灣太淺,只知道低吟淺唱,面對蕭紅內心的悲苦、被人事誤解的憋屈、被愛情拋棄的無奈,淺水灣何以能以歌當哭?

      蕭紅在臨終前寫道,“我將與藍天碧水永處,留下那半部《紅樓》給別人寫了。半生盡遭白眼冷遇,身先死,不甘,不甘。”也許,蕭紅與藍天碧水有著生死眷顧,當年,呼蘭河畔只有她家的后花園里的小貓小狗給她帶來的快樂,只有祖父的溫暖帶給她的生命記憶,但她畢竟是呼蘭河的女兒,呼蘭河水給了她一身逆襲男權社會的反骨,她穿著被冰涼的呼蘭河水打濕的羅裳,一路從北國顛沛流離到南疆,淺水灣成了她生命最后的歸宿,只是她空下的半部《紅樓》與它的主人一樣寂寞,誰還去續寫它的情節呢?。

      那個樂道八號的家不知道還在不在,它是蕭紅在淺水灣恣意文字的暖巢,離淺水灣就一箭之地。若在,它會用有別于張愛玲茶樓的風輕云淡,滄桑地站在淺水灣的濤聲中,迎迓接踵而至的文學香客。那時刻,日寇還橫行霸道在中國的土地上,但這樂道八號,也該是月光如水、濤聲婉約,窗外,或許還有鳳凰花,三角梅。這等似乎遠離塵世的景致和寧靜,想必蕭紅也沒有多少閑情來欣賞、消受,她的苦難與風雅之間,似乎有一道天然的屏障,即便鮮花族擁,萬蝶銜香而來,她也斷不會忘記愛無所托的時代剝離感和兩度失子的撕裂感,她的靈魂里,裝滿了掙扎在生死場里的宵小人物,她要蘸著他們的血、他們的淚,還原大千世界里的苦難。但她用生命寫就的《呼蘭河傳》、《馬伯樂》、《小城三月》長期得不到重視,主流聲音中,蕭紅是被“狹小的私生活圈子”所困,把自己同“廣闊的進行著生死大搏斗的大天地”完全隔離開來。一句話,她的作品不是宏大敘事。恰恰相反,蕭紅悲天憫人的情懷和“把自己也燒在中國農村的黑暗現實里面”的介入感,從來都是蕭紅寫作的圭臬。

      世俗可以有偏見,文學藝術不應該有偏見。但是,圈子無時不有、無處不在,而傲骨錚錚者自有風范。蕭紅一生都沒有自己的圈子,她在圈外孤苦伶仃地活在自己孤傲的山頭上,陪伴她的只有蒼涼的文字和蒼涼的自己。

      對于蕭紅,淺水灣終究是她的異鄉,她最終沒能與“藍天碧水永處”。對一個一生漂泊無蹤的女子,哪里是她的故鄉呢?對于一個四處遭白眼的弱女子,故鄉未必就是最好的歸宿。2000年夏天,我到哈爾濱開會,順便去了呼蘭縣,那里有蕭紅的青絲冢。青絲冢橫臥在一個叫西崗的公園里,它就像一個佝僂的老人,匍匐在呼蘭河畔。它的周圍是熙熙攘攘的人群,唯其熱鬧、喧囂,更顯得它的孤單。墓地沒有護欄,沒有花環,石壁上的青苔泛著綠色的幽光。我問旁邊的大娘,里面的人是誰。大娘說,聽說是個姓蕭的女人。還好,終歸是父老鄉親,大娘還知道這個姓蕭的女人。

      一把青絲喚醒了被呼蘭河水淹沒的記憶。遺憾的是,在這個市儈的社會里,蕭紅成了故鄉的一張文化名片,蕭紅的青絲冢成了一個有點銅臭味的旅游產品。蕭紅做夢也不會想到,自己當初落荒而逃,一路屈辱,成了輾轉而歸的孤魂野鬼后,居然還能回到故鄉為經濟站臺。蕭紅的生、蕭紅的死,蕭紅畢生所愛的文學,一直都處在從屬的位置。不甘!不甘!

      我要走了。風停了,干燥的陽光時隱時現,淺水灣海水波光粼粼,一彎月牙狀的海灘,迤邐而去,三三兩兩的三桅船,泊在遠山的倒影里。

      淺水灣一派諧順。

      這或許是淺水灣留給我最后的影像了。此刻,我突然想到蕭紅的《兩種感想》。“只剩下我一人,怎么談論古今?只好對著江水靜靜的坐著”。這個世界的人若螻蟻,但蕭紅是孤獨的,孤獨到身體孑然一身,靈魂卻被眾人供奉著。

      我不知道自己還會不會來。若來,是祭奠;不來,也可緬懷。來,或者不來,這一彎淺淺的海水,因為蕭紅,永遠不會忘卻。

    責任編輯:池墨 作者文集 作者聲明
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