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    海棠花開

    發布于:2019-04-29 11:39  ┊ 閱讀  ┊  人參與  ┊ 文 / 吊腳樓

      一九九六年孟春,我假道重慶去江津。江津是陳獨秀的終老之地,他在那里度過了孤寂的晚年。從他的故居出來,我突然想到了我所景仰的瞿秋白。瞿秋白作為一代名流,他的故居我是一定要去拜謁的。

      早先,瞿秋白是以左傾冒動的反派角色存在于我的視野,他是黨史教材中“路線斗爭”的典型人物之一。當“以農村包圍城市”作為早期中國革命的必由之路成為不二選擇后,瞿秋白的“城市說”自然就是異端了。這是當初我所知道的瞿秋白的主要錯誤所在,至于他的《多余的話》給他帶來的錯誤之爭以及他在文學上的成就,是后來才知道的。

      一九七九年,我還是一名在校大學生,無意中在《歷史研究》上讀到一篇《重評“多余的話”》。《歷史研究》不惜版面,在《重》文后附有《多余的話》。那是我第一次讀《多》的全本。

      《多》滿篇彌漫著消極、頹唐的情緒,甚至說自己當初作為共產黨領導人是一場“誤會”。那時,我二十出頭年紀,尚無在重霧繚繞的歷史中辨識真偽的能力。待我讀完《多》后,覺著瞿秋白被口誅筆伐該是罪有應得的。

      但是,《重》文對《多余的話》的顛覆性評價,又讓我疑慮、惶惑,甚至不解。但年輕時的好奇心,又如一匹野馬,一旦撒開四蹄,便會狂野地奔跑起來。我開始搜集有關他的資料,讀不同版本的《瞿秋白傳》,讀他的《赤都心史》《俄鄉紀程》。讀,不為研究他的從政之道,只是膜拜他的才情。至此,瞿秋白在我心中的形象越來越豐滿、生動、高大起來,他仿佛以雙重身份站在我的面前——作為政治家的他,社稷在胸,心納人間萬景,指點江山;作為作家的瞿秋白,飽學、儒雅、沉靜,玉樹臨風。我仿佛看到他在黃埔軍校、上海大學的講臺上傳經送道的意氣風發,而臺下是一大批后來成為著名作家和軍隊高級將領的青年才俊。丁玲是他的學生,對他膜拜有加;宋希濂是他的學生,也是踮著腳尖仰慕瞿秋白的人。后來,當宋希濂奉蔣公之命勸降瞿秋白時,宋希濂對瞿秋白都是畢恭畢敬,生怕有所冒犯。以至暮年,宋希濂對當初的奉旨之為都是悔愧不已。

      一九九六年深秋,我去常州參加一個年會。我問江蘇醫藥學校的吳校長,常州的瞿秋白故居是否開放。吳君說,據說在邊修繕邊開放,常州還有惲代英、張太雷的故居。我一陣竊喜后,又有一絲驚悸。常州真是人杰地靈啊,這小小的地盤是一塊怎樣的沃土啊,這里居然走出了我黨三個著名的職業革命家。會后,我去拜謁瞿秋白的故居。這天,秋陽高照,瑟瑟秋風中并無多少涼意。

      故居坐落在常州的鬧市區。據說,這故居并非瞿家的私產,它是瞿姓本族的宗祠。當初,瞿秋白父親本也是滿腹經綸的文化人,書畫有攻,頗有造詣,可是他不善理財持家,以至于后來柴米不濟,家道中落,不得已才借居于此。

      故居門前是一條不太寬的馬路,車稀人少。靠近故居一側馬路邊植有一排白樺樹。白樺樹足有十米之高,大有刺破青天的架勢。樹干筆挺,直溜溜的,沒有其他木本植物的枝枝蔓蔓,白森森的樹皮上似有隨時都會飄散而去的粉末。我都有些疑惑了,白樺樹本是溫帶樹種,雖然養眼,入得詩章,但它是不適合做行道樹的。這常識是誰都懂的,精明的常州人何以如此造次呢?一陣思忖,似乎明白了常州人對瞿秋白別樣的懷念。

      秋白是爽直、率真、磊落的,白樺是可用來喻指一代豪杰的。

      故居沒有我料想的恢弘,是中國南方祠堂大統一的建筑格局。老式的白墻灰瓦,兩邊墻頭是錯落有致的騎馬墻。門前有兩尊石獅,齜牙咧嘴,似乎想還原瞿氏家族昔日的顯貴。進得大門,甬道蜿蜒、平整,灰磚上仿佛還殘留著窯灰。我多少有些失望。我是希望這磚、這地和每一件遺存的家什,都帶有瞿秋白年少的體溫,那時的一草一木枯萎后的殘枝敗葉都能留存下來,成為腐殖質,讓我從中聞到當初瞿家煙火日子的味道。可是,所有的整舊如新覆蓋了往日的風云際會,我只能憑借瞿秋白傳記作品中的描述,暢想他當初出走常州時的風貌。甬道一側有一棵海棠樹,不足三米高,估計也是移植過來的。枝丫呈褐色,向四周恣意地伸展著。枝頭的海棠花并不多,紫色,內斂,不張揚,甚至有些散淡,它們安之若素地綻放在秋天的陽光里。

      我幾乎是花盲,對于海棠花,只是在讀高中才在同學家里見過盆栽的海棠花。那時,那花是乳白色的。這故居的海棠為什么是紫色呢?或許就是花色自有花期,海棠也是如此,由白至紫,是生命的成長和蛻變。瞿秋白由富家少年到貧家子弟,再到偉大的無產階級革命家,當是他經歷世態炎涼和如磐風雨后的精神涅槃,這種靈魂進化后所呈現的人格儀態,興許就是這海棠所要寓意的。

      故居就幾間房舍,每間并不寬綽。正間有一木床,抵墻而置。床頭的墻上掛著一幅橫軸,上書瞿秋白的《哭母》——親到貧時不算親,藍衫添得淚痕新。饑寒此日無人問。落上靈前愛子身。

      有一抹暖陽從不大的窗口擠進來,懶洋洋地照在橫軸上。一陣風吹,橫軸輕輕一抖,字幅上窗欞留下的暗影影影綽綽,瞿家往日由富而衰的歲月,好像就要彈跳出來。

      從故居出來后,本想去一趟覓渡橋,因行期不允,罷了,不得行,卻又是萬般遺憾的。覓渡橋的名字詩性、古意,它是京杭大運河上的一孔石拱橋,在蘇州地界。當初,瞿秋白就是行船過覓渡橋走出常州府的。之后,我無數次地想象,當初,瞿秋白或許是迫于生計,為稻粱謀,他站在烏篷船的船頭,一襲長衫,身揣白金懷表,心里裝滿了母親吞磷自盡的凄苦。在穿過覓渡橋時,他在想,覓渡何處?覓什么?如何渡?度自己,還是度普羅大眾?又有哪一條路能夠接納和承載自己一雙柔弱的雙腳?盡管他的才學足以支撐他一路向北,一直走到未名湖畔,但他終究沒能成為一個純粹的教授、學者、作家。

      做一名中國的文化巨擘,他是有充足文化底碼的。茅盾有詩云:“左翼文臺兩領袖,瞿霜魯迅各千秋”。偏偏神之造化,那盞理想的神燈讓他成為了一個職業革命家。

      瞿秋白是以革命家自詡的。遺憾的是,他沒能善始善終。不是他不想,是時勢的詭異,把他的晚節碎成了一地雞毛。不同政治主張背后的思想交鋒、行為選擇,導致爭鋒不斷。他在“內斗”中敗下陣來。

      在我心智開蒙不久,就曾耳食過他在長征行將開始時臨陣逃脫的政治橋段。由此,少不更事的我,想象過一個不堪的畫面——瑞金小城外,中央紅軍整裝出征,瞿秋白膽寒于國民黨的圍追堵截和迢迢兩萬五千里生命跋涉中的槍林彈雨,他謊稱自有肺疾,不可遠征。中央紅軍走了,他坐在一家酒肆里,看著中央紅軍的將士們漸行漸遠的背影,脖子一伸,仰起頭,灌了一口燒酒,慶幸自己躲過了生死之劫。

      許多愚昧的認知,往往產生于真相被掩蓋的語境中。我如是,實在不恭。其實,是王明的排斥異己讓瞿秋白失去了與中央紅軍同進同行的機會。年長他許多的的董必武、徐特立都隨大部隊走了,一路走到陜北,瞿秋白卻留下了。

      他被捕了,蹲了國民黨的監獄。福建長汀成了他最后的歸宿。

      瞿秋白完全是足可以以他的信仰、革命實踐,以至為國捐軀的事實,贏得一世英名的。他卻“鬼使神差”地說了一大堆“多余的話”。這些“多余的話”成了一柄自掘墳墓的鐵鎬。人們在這洋洋兩萬言的文字中扒來扒去,其中所謂的消極、悔悟情緒,最終成了瞿秋白變節的口實。

      “知我者,謂我何憂;不知我者,謂我何求。”被瞿秋白用來做了《多余的話》的代序。瞿秋白何以用這出自《詩經》的名句作為代序呢?吾生才疏學淺,不敢妄自猜度。但這《詩經》(《黍離》)中所彌漫的孤苦,我是能理會的。“行邁靡靡,中心搖搖”“悠悠蒼天,此何人哉”,靡靡之頹唐,搖搖之憂苦,面對悠悠蒼天,這后果到底是誰造成的呢?不解!不解!所以,叩問蒼天何憂、何求,自是必然。壯懷激烈、以身赴死的革命者,未必沒有彷徨時。在為尊者諱的文化背景下,尊者總是光鮮的。瞿秋白卻解開了衣襟,開膛剖肚地向世人呈現了他的胸懷。我們如果擱下瞿秋白的政治身份,把他還原成一個普通的革命者后,再來解讀在《多余的話》中的消極情緒的對與錯、應該不應該,或許能夠理解其中的悔愧,而瞿秋白恰恰是一個偉大的共產主義者(1982年中共中央的評價),他嚴苛的自我解剖,讓我們看到了一個真實的人在生命行將結束時的從容和坦蕩。

      很遺憾,一些瞿秋白的傳記作品中,在描寫《多余的話》的成書過程時,文字都過于張揚。我想,獄中的瞿秋白,斷不會用像長于揮灑詩情詩人那樣狂放不已,一筆揮就蕩氣回腸的詩文。他必定是冷峻的、從容不迫的,就像他故居里的海棠花,在默默的綻放中,釋放生命的氣息。夕陽明滅亂山中,落葉寒泉聽不窮。已忍伶俜十年事,心持半偈萬緣空。——這是瞿秋白就義前的一首絕筆詩,似在隱義,卻不晦澀。聯想當時的紛亂時局,怕是不難理解的。“伶俜”的孤苦無依,“十年”中,多少事不能遂愿,當”我”心懷還沒能參透的馬克思主義理論,想繼續前行時,“我”的生命就要結束了。

      “萬緣空”啊!這是對《多余的話》最后一句“永別了,美麗的世界”最為詩性的注腳。

      不管史學家、詩詞家們怎樣解讀,我是寧愿相信瞿秋白對革命道路的選擇是至死不曾后悔過的。至于《多》中的憂憤、憤懣,甚至所謂的消極情緒,有什么不能理解的呢?對于一個死囚、一個胸懷宏大理想并為之孜孜以求的無產價級革命家,所有主觀故意的質疑、苛責,都是不厚道的。

      十年前,我又去了一次瞿秋白故居和覓渡橋。覓渡橋弓著腰,匍匐在古老的大運河上。它的終極使命就是“渡”,它用它的骨骼、身軀,讓所有行走的理想,從此岸走向彼岸。橋下,烏篷船來來往往,船尾漣漪逶迤,仿佛當年秋白尋尋覓覓的腳步留下的水痕。

      故居前的白樺樹不在了,取而代之的是香樟樹。樹葉綠茵茵的,一如向陽而伸的手掌,迎迓著一個膜拜者的再次造訪。那棵海棠還在,比原先茂盛了許多,枝頭上是滿當當的海棠花,乳白色,陽光一照,粉嫩極了,像少女的粉腮。

      走出故居,我想,此生,我該去一次福建的長汀。那里有瞿秋白的行刑地。瞿秋白就義時,曾淡然地說過“此地很好”。若去,我是希望在那里能看到一棵,不,是一大片海棠林,看見瞿秋白在海棠花叢中,深邃地笑著。當然,我也會帶上幾塊豆腐侍奉于他。瞿秋白在《多》中說過,“中國的豆腐世界第一”。他是留戀這個世界的,世界理當回饋于他。

    責任編輯:胡俊月 作者文集 作者聲明
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