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    加 減 乘 除

    發布于:2019-06-21 16:25  ┊ 閱讀  ┊  人參與  ┊ 文 / 叔洪

      外孫女剛上小學,在數學上先學加法減后學乘除,這和我上小學是學算術的秩序是一樣的。這叫先易后難,也就是說學什么都要從簡單的開始,逐步加深,這樣便于學習的循序漸進,也能激發孩子的學習興趣。如果一上來就學乘法和除法,我想很多孩子是接受不了的,因為他們的智力沒發展到那種水平,如果強學勢必造成揠苗助長,事與愿違的結果,說不定就毀了孩子的一生。

      人都會慢慢長大的,當我們成人后,不一定能夠領會加減乘除的精髓,遇到實際問題未必能恰當使用,且運用自如。每個人都會走向社會,在你的工作和學習中必然的會認識很多的人,尤其是在參加工作以后,你認識的人說不定便會陪伴你很長時間,有的甚至直至你退休的時候才會分開。

      不管是誰,也不管你有多高明或多智慧,總有你欠缺的地方,這就是人們所說的短板。寸有所長,尺有所短。這就是說每個人都會有自己的長處,但同時又存在著短處。在工作中,或與人交往的時候,個人如何如何不好,從哪個方面都不如你,但是人家卻一步一步的升遷上去,這就給你造成一種不平衡的心里感覺。我各方面都比他強,不管是論學歷還是講能力他都比不上我,可每次升遷的都是他而沒我的份兒?

      仔細想想,這里面就有一個加減乘除的問題,是因為你沒有正確地運用,或者用顛倒了。不管是誰,在對待自己的優點上,都會用加法的方式來看待,把自己的優點看的很大,總覺得自己什么地方都好,別人都不如自己。但在對待身邊的同事的時候,卻會把他們的優點用減法來看待,總覺得他們身上的優點很少,怎么比也不如自己的優點多。反過來再看看,在對待缺點的時候,又會用減法來看待自己的缺點,不管從哪個方面來講,總覺得自己身上的缺點是很少的,甚至于完美。當看別人身上的缺點的時候,不是同樣用減法,而是改成了加法,這樣你便會看到別人身上有很多的缺點。加法的運用使自己的優點放大,缺點縮小,而用在別人身上則相反。這種結果便會把人和人之間的關系在無形中人為的拉大,使彼此的關系越來越難相處,把自己置于尷尬或為難的境地。

      加法的原理是放大或增加,減法的原理則是縮小或減少。如此一增一減就形成了此消彼長,把本來沒有多大懸殊的東西被放大了看,在無形中就把本來很小的距離拉長了。增加自己的優點,放大別人的缺點,這本身就無法可比了,既然沒有可比性卻偏偏要去比,而且是扭曲了的對比,不管擱誰身上都絕對再難找到平衡。基于此種不同的方法來看待自己和別人,這就造成了自己心中的不平衡,是怨氣,甚至是怨恨產生的最根本的原因所在,只能把關系搞得越來越僵,使人與人之間越來越緊張,說不定會形成對立的局面,對己對人都是極其不利的。

      彼此之間搞好關系就要學會如何做人,會做人就要靈巧地運用好加減乘除。在與人相處中要用減法看待自己的優點,而對待缺點則用加法,在對待身邊的人則要反其道而行之。有時候我們總會說某個人的人緣好,會說話,會來事,在做人方面八面玲瓏,誰都不得罪。這種言論乍聽起來似乎很有道理,但是人們卻把關鍵的東西給忘了,那就是你做人為什么不能像他一樣面面俱到誰都不得罪呢?有人說這種人的人品有問題,只認識和氣生財,遇事不講原則,不管遇到多大的事,哪怕是原則的大是大非,只想著做一個你好我好大家好的和事佬。我不反對你說的有一定的道理,但也未必就完全正確。之所以說有一定的道理,并非全有道理,是因為這只是看到了事情的一個方面,而忽略另一個方面。那這欠缺的道理又是什么,那就是你在對待自己和別人的時候把加法和減法沒有運用好,不要有事沒事的就拉到原則上,把他人的缺點無限制地放大,那樣打擊的面會很寬很廣,也就是樹敵太多。他人的人緣好是因為采取了和你相反方式來對待,在對待他人的優點用加法,而對自己優點則用減法,這樣便縮小了兩個人的距離。加減相反,如此一增一減,兩者間的距離相差的就大了。他看到自己的缺點多,所以就想著如何去克服或改正,看到別人的優點這么多,就想著如何去迎頭趕上,考慮的是如何與人相處更有利。這是便于團結的極好方法,應予以提倡。

      一個人覺得優點多就容易產生自滿,形成自我膨脹,勢必趾高氣昂的看不起別人。尤其是看到別人的缺點多,就越發的飄飄然起來,既不注意克服自己身上的缺點,又失去上進的動力,從而陷入一種惡性的循環。而他人則看到別人的優點大,自己的缺點多,必要促使自己去改正缺點而發揚優點。如此一加一減,使本來不算太大的距離越拉越大。更為可怕的是,當這種距離出現的時候,你卻看不見,更不會承認,還在那里自我感覺良好的自吹自擂,盲目樂觀。讓這種距離很明顯的拉大了之后,你心里想的仍然不是迎頭趕上,而是在哪里拿著放大鏡一味的去尋找對方的缺點,卻把優點忽略不計。

      在別人進步時不是迎頭趕上,而是一味的固執的在那里怨天尤人,把自己陷入無盡的埋怨和哀嘆中,這是人生大忌,會永久的失去動力,永久地落在別人的后頭。這種失敗完全是由自己造成的,埋怨只不過是一種嫉妒心理在作祟,而這種嫉妒心理的生成只能成為拖住你前進的后腿,失去進步的動力和勇氣。這又是一種惡性的循環。

      如果在對待自己和他人的時候只用加法和減法,還算不錯的,因為只是有限度地擴大或縮小了自己和他人的優缺點。盡管其中存在著差距,但這差距終歸是有限的,不是太突出,沒有走向極端,并沒造成很嚴重的后果。假如不用加減法而是用乘法和除法來對待,那造成的危險就會更大了,就會因此而害了自己。差距越大越會走向極端,走向極端就無法或難以回頭。心中的不滿會因此而變成憤懣,令你不僅失去了上進心,心中除了埋怨便是記恨,脾氣越來越暴躁,稍有不滿便會開口大罵,其結果是一次次的把自己陷入絕境,最終不得不一步步地邁入不可救藥之地。

      人最大的通病就是最容易看到自己的優點而忽視缺點,不管從哪個角度看,什么都是自己好,所有的人都比不上自己。其實這是一種錯誤,更是禁錮自己難以提高或不斷進步的陋習,萬萬不可輕視,更不能忽略。客觀的看待自己,客觀地對待別人是我們每一個人都應做到或力求做到的,而真正做到這一點又是極其艱難的。我們要正確地看待自己的優點和缺點,更應客觀的看待同事或身邊人的優點與缺點,既不要擴大,更不能縮小。以自己的意愿或好惡來看待問題是每個人的通病,更是一種難以改變的積習,所以要格外引起注意。

      人無完人,金無足赤。我們不是圣人,都是普通的人,有點缺點實屬正常,但不應以此來降低對自己的要求,一味的放縱自己。寬于待人,嚴于律己,這是做人的律條,也是基礎,反應的是一個人的品德。對自己要嚴格要求的同時要有對他人寬容的心。宰相肚里能撐船,要借的彌勒佛的肚子一用,容得下別人的缺點,讓心胸變得寬闊。對別人不要求全責備,多看別人的長處,對自己缺點永不原諒。

      一拳難敵兩手,惡虎難勝群狼。眾人拾柴火焰高,團結起來就是不可戰勝的力量。我們只有正確的看待自己,客觀地對待他人,抱著與人友善的態度,彼此就會做到和睦相處,就能達到團結的目的,就能壯大我們的力量,做到共贏,成就我們的事業。

      二零一七年十二月二十日

      

    責任編輯:池墨 作者文集 作者聲明
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